I’ve discussed much about my personal life. Sometimes it is only surface deep, but then other times I write about the skeletons in my closet. I did it here, and I’m doing it now. Today, I had a realization about the times I’m trying to get to place of happiness. This story really goes hand in hand with the above link. I didn’t realize ANY of it until today. I’m forever grateful to have “mastered” (I place that word in quotes because I’m human and I still make big mistakes now and again.) the art of feeling joyful in the state of unpleasantries. Meaning, I’ve learned to be happy/joyful in the moment, instead of wishing circumstances could improve for our family.
This little epiphany came to me today because I woke up very under the weather. It hurts to move, it hurts to talk, it hurts to swallow: I’m sick. As a mother, there really is not time for rest (especially when you decide to write on your blog, today of all days… I don’t claim to be the sharpest). I got up, made french toast, dressed all the kids, brushed their teeth, packed lunches for school, the scurried the munchkins out the door to get them dropped off at school. I wanted to complain to my husband. I thought, wouldn’t it be nice if he did all this for me, while I rested, but why? I decided to find joy in the fact I wasn’t more sick and I was able to help my family. My kids don’t need to be concerned with me at this age, and I know our oldest would, so I mustered up some smiles for them.
As I drove the kids to their Mother’s Day Out program, I started thinking on the subject further. I thought about how I used complain about no family around, or no “village” to help when we really needed something. I used to fret about not getting time to myself, or at least even having the option of taking some time for me. I used to complain about all the numerous ways my husband didn’t show he loved me instead of recognizing how he did try to show me. Oh the many, many, many complaints I had about our beautiful life. Isn’t that all of us? Maybe, I don’t know for sure, but I assume there’s usually someone just a little worse off than me. Maybe they’re looking at my life and hoping for the things I have taken for granted.
So, here’s where the Holy Spirit chimed in… it almost gave me chills. After dropping off my little ones and then returning to my vehicle I heard my thoughts be exclaimed over the radio. My favorite program called, “More To Life” hosted by Dr. Bob and Lisa Popcack. The show for today was precisely about pursuing happiness. In fact, to be more specific, the Pocack’s suggested when we pursue these things/events that we think will make us happy (more money, bigger house, better schools, me time, and the like) we fail in feeling pure joy in where we actually are. If we aren’t happy right now, we aren’t going to suddenly be happy when we get what we want, because it isn’t there. Happiness is not a goal to be obtained, it is a feeling you can feel at this very moment. (How many times can I reference Pollyanna?)
My everyday is clearly in a better state than it was just over a year ago. I love having my children near me, and don’t feel I need/want to be away from them to get my sanity any longer. I go months without being away from them all at once. I always have someone with me and, not so coincidentally, I’ve found great peace in knowing that. It may be what is driving me towards the thought of homeschooling. It pushes me to persevere through the tough times. I’m so thankful to live my beautiful life as it is right now.
Instead of searching for a way to find happiness, look at your own beautiful life, because it is beautiful and someone is most likely envious of you too, and find joy in where you are now.
What types of things are you pursuing to make you happier? Will it truly bring you joy? Are you happy with yourself right now?