I read a quote today that really made me stop and wonder.  A quote that, in a few short words, advanced my relationship with the Lord.  This beautiful phrase gave light to a new way to praise Him.  As I read the words below, my heart became full and a lightbulb went on as I embraced this “aha” moment.

As long as I allow myself to be consumed with this world, I will be deaf to the guidance coming…

The hustle we encounter everyday can create this constant buzz in our ears drowning out what God is really calling us to hear.  It is too simple to get caught up doing “life.”  I guess the question is are we really living life well if we can’t hear Him directing us along the right paths?  It is time to quiet the buzzing sound of our to do lists, and listen.

This idea opens all sorts of doors for me.  First I knew I needed to stop doing what everyone else is doing, just for the sake of doing it.  I gave up Facebook, not indefinitely, but for a good amount of time because I hated how much I was on my phone doing mindless browsing.  As my friend Diama mentioned in her interview here, I wanted my children to see me reading a book, being creative, dancing, being productive, anything but a couch potato staring at the tiny screen in my hand.

Not being on Facebook allowed more leisure time, more productive time, and best of all more quality play time with my kids.  I love Facebook because being away from so many loved ones is much easier with this particular social media, but it was also limiting my conversations.  I started texting friends and calling family more, which made me feel so much more connected!  When I saw someone I hadn’t seen in ages, it was oddly enough easier to have a conversation because there was so much I didn’t know about them.

The second thing that happened for me, was a calm understanding that many things were out of my control.  Please don’t get me wrong, I’m still struggling with this, because I think worrying and anxiety issues run in my family, but I’m learning to cope with that daily.  On my good days, I can look at less ideal circumstances with silent stare, and then slowly get to work either ignoring it, or working to resolve the issue… no anger, no running around like a chicken with her head cut off, and most likely with a thank you prayer and a smile on my face.

I’ll give you a few examples:

#1 Today I’m potty training my almost two year old.  We use the strip and go naked method.  That’s three days of a naked baby running wild in my house.  The first day is the messiest.  Today is the first day.  I’ve cleaned up so many “spills” before 10am and I haven’t gotten frustrated with the fact that she hasn’t been successful once.  I’ve been able to cheer her on without worrying about the other messes going on simultaneously.  I know I can get to them later on today.  I’ll have time, and even if I don’t, it will not ruin my right now.

#2 If you know me at all, you know I want more babies and soon.  I’ve prayed on it and truly believe it is God’s will for our family.  If you know my husband at all, you know he is already over his limit, in terms of the amount of responsibility in his life.  This is SO hard for me.  It is actually the hardest thing I’ve had to deal with in my life so far.  This is the major undesirable circumstance that I struggle with daily, and though I still blow up from  time to time, I’m getting better and I can tell I’ve made progress in trying to understand God’s true will for me.  I just work on loving everyone in my house selflessly and focus on needing nothing in return.  If I feel I’m being used, then I’m not being very Godly, and I can’t imagine that’s part of God’s will.  Most of the time now I can be calm when we disagree or if I hear remarks from my husband that I feel are snarky towards my desire for a bigger family.  Then every night, I pray.  Sometimes I pray for help in know the right things to do or say.  Sometimes I pray for my husband… nothing specific, just praying for him period.  Sometimes I ask God to bring us together in thoughts and desires.  I’ll admit very openly the excruciating pain I feel when I don’t understand why all this is happening this way, when I feel like God is taking too long (selfish much?).  The goal is to persevere quietly, and try to listen daily.

The third and final (maybe) thing that has changed since hearing that beautiful phrase, is happiness.  Abundant joy everyday.  I can smile lovingly at the world around me because I love it again!  It is too easy to criticize others, to be offended by neighbors, and the like.  Living in the city, there are so many times I’ve felt judged for who I am because I don’t always go along with society’s idea of life.  When I’m back home in the country, I sometimes don’t feel I fit in because I’m not doing everything my friends and family think are the best.  Those are just feelings, and for one, I no longer care what others are thinking of me so long as I’m doing my best to follow the Lord, and two, what are the real chances anyone is thinking those crazy things? Slim to none!  No one cares about what I’m doing enough to really put much thought into it.  People care about me, yes, but they don’t give a hoot about my daily thoughts or decisions.  If they do, I feel sorry for them.  So basically, I’ve learned to be me everyday, and love me for the person I’m trying to become.

How profound?!  Place your trust in the Lord regarding your future.  Listen carefully and attempt to do His will instead of ONLY focusing on what you want.  Just listen.

Posted by:stmarthaslens

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