I’m one of these people who is constantly questioning the choices and decisions I’ve made or am about to make.  I have little confidence in this area, and I’m not sure why.  Thankfully, my confidence does not lead me to anxiousness and worry, because I know I’m doing the best I know how and I pray God is guiding me.  I had started listening to EWTN radio on my way to pick up our little girl from her school last summer and I kept hearing this particular prayer at the same time everyday.

The Road Ahead

Thomas Merton

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going.  I do not see the road ahead of me.  I cannot know for certain where it will end.  Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.  But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.  And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.  I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.  And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it.  Therefore, I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.  I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.  Amen.

This prayer has since become my favorite!  It has everything I say to God on a daily basis except without the hand motions and looking like I’m talking to myself as I roam around the house feeling confused.  (Wink! Wink!  I talk to myself a lot)

What stands out to me most is that I don’t know where the road will lead me, but I’m trusting God to carry me through whatever it entails.  I have concerns in my life, many of them great, but my concerns are not worries because no matter the outcome, I will have God telling me this is His will.  As we are about to welcome number four into our arms in a few short weeks, I realize things could go wrong or perhaps this little guy could bring on a life of sickness or a disability not detectable on an ultrasound.  I look at my children and pray I will pass before either one of them does for all scary reasons.  My knowledge of what is happening in our nation all too often could cause a lot of anxiety, but that anxiety will lead me away from our Lord.  No, I do not know what is ahead of me, but I will always try to do his will and to place my trust in His hands forever.IMG_4745

Posted by:stmarthaslens

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